It’s been an interesting few days here in our cancer free household. There has been so much to process and all the while Tom is in the first, and toughest, days of his surgical recovery. He is doing incredibly well but he does require quite a bit of assistance in moving around which we expected. Also, our nights have been a little tough because he has to sleep on his back and that just isn’t a comfortable way to sleep – I think we figured out the appropriate pillow situation to get him as comfortable as possible but it still isn’t as natural, or relaxing, as he’d hoped.
Tomorrow is a big day as all of the bandages will come off and hopefully that will help with his mobility a bit. His large incision is already uncovered and very large, but the other ones we will get eyes on for the first time tomorrow and should be interesting since there are no stitches – just holes in his side. The doctor said it’s normal for him to “leak” from these open holes this week. I disagree, there is nothing ever normal about leaking from a hole in the side of your body. I’ve got a pretty strong stomach for medical stuff now, but this particular situation will be interesting. Plus, I assume if I had two holes in the side of my body red wine would come pouring out, or something green and gold.
Throughout this experience, there have been many unexpected situations. Yesterday and today was one of those – we both sort of crashed. Between the tension and anxiety of the days leading up to the surgery and then four long days with little sleep and lots of emotions at the hospital we were both just beat. Tom obviously more so because he also has the recovery but we allowed ourselves a few days to just relax, recover, and sleep. I guess I thought we would be running more on adrenaline knowing this was going to be over soon but I think we finally were both able to take a deep breath and we just needed to let our bodies – and minds – recover.
I can’t tell you how many conversations we have had since Thursday about this still not feeling real. I thought being home would help make it feel real, but it really hasn’t. I think over the next two weeks as we get a plan for the future scans, get the port removed, and figure out when we can stop nightly shots then perhaps it will start to sink in. Heck, there is a part of me that still hasn’t processed the fact that Tom even had cancer. I think it will take a while, which I hear is normal, and then I think it will be the simple things that help us process like going to a restaurant again, or going to a movie, or taking a trip. Even silly things that were put on hold because of his diagnosis. For example, right before we got Tom’s diagnosis we were planning to invest in a good mattress – versus the nice but lower quality ones we’ve had since college. Once he was diagnosed, we found out that we should wrap our mattress during treatment and that it is recommended that we throw out our mattress after the treatment. So as silly as this example is, I think its things like this happening which we’ve talked about all through treatment, that will help this all start to sink in. We certainly are excited to get him feeling better and starting our post-cancer lives. More to come tomorrow…
Tomorrow is a big day as all of the bandages will come off and hopefully that will help with his mobility a bit. His large incision is already uncovered and very large, but the other ones we will get eyes on for the first time tomorrow and should be interesting since there are no stitches – just holes in his side. The doctor said it’s normal for him to “leak” from these open holes this week. I disagree, there is nothing ever normal about leaking from a hole in the side of your body. I’ve got a pretty strong stomach for medical stuff now, but this particular situation will be interesting. Plus, I assume if I had two holes in the side of my body red wine would come pouring out, or something green and gold.
Throughout this experience, there have been many unexpected situations. Yesterday and today was one of those – we both sort of crashed. Between the tension and anxiety of the days leading up to the surgery and then four long days with little sleep and lots of emotions at the hospital we were both just beat. Tom obviously more so because he also has the recovery but we allowed ourselves a few days to just relax, recover, and sleep. I guess I thought we would be running more on adrenaline knowing this was going to be over soon but I think we finally were both able to take a deep breath and we just needed to let our bodies – and minds – recover.
I can’t tell you how many conversations we have had since Thursday about this still not feeling real. I thought being home would help make it feel real, but it really hasn’t. I think over the next two weeks as we get a plan for the future scans, get the port removed, and figure out when we can stop nightly shots then perhaps it will start to sink in. Heck, there is a part of me that still hasn’t processed the fact that Tom even had cancer. I think it will take a while, which I hear is normal, and then I think it will be the simple things that help us process like going to a restaurant again, or going to a movie, or taking a trip. Even silly things that were put on hold because of his diagnosis. For example, right before we got Tom’s diagnosis we were planning to invest in a good mattress – versus the nice but lower quality ones we’ve had since college. Once he was diagnosed, we found out that we should wrap our mattress during treatment and that it is recommended that we throw out our mattress after the treatment. So as silly as this example is, I think its things like this happening which we’ve talked about all through treatment, that will help this all start to sink in. We certainly are excited to get him feeling better and starting our post-cancer lives. More to come tomorrow…