Well today was a bit of a strange day – we took off Tom’s bandages – and that didn’t quite go as planned. Tom’s big scar was already uncovered so he has had time to adjust to that, and it’s quite large. However he has had bandages on his side since we left the hospital and had been instructed to keep them on until today. Two of the bandages were covering the holes from where the tubes had been – as I mentioned, these didn’t get any stitches or anything – just random holes in his side. Then, there was a third one that was used for the camera that had helped guide the procedure, have I mentioned lately how insane Science is?
Anyway, the goal of today was to get these bandages off (cue my nurse glove snaps) so he would have a little more freedom in movement and could get cleaned up. I knew better than to have Tom looking in a mirror as I was doing this, so instead I turned him away from the mirror and started to remove the bandages. As I was pulling them off I realized it didn’t matter if we had a mirror or not because Tom had looked down and boom – the reality of this war zone on his chest hit him. I came pretty darn close to calling an ambulance as I got him seated, put a wash cloth on his head, held his head up and made him converse with me to ensure he was staying with me. I think it was a bit much for him to see it all, see blood soaked bandages and reconcile that it was all from the surgery. I'll be honest - it was tough for me to even see and it's not on my body. Needless to say, we took a break after that first bandage removal and will take care of the rest tomorrow.
In a strange way, Tom doesn’t feel like it’s his body he is looking at. He was completely out during surgery and then woke up with this mess of incisions all over him. It’s not like when you break a bone when you are completely aware and can associate the pain with a moment in time. He really can’t, it’s a strange disconnect his brain is having with his body – and I think that was a big part of today. It really put into perspective everything that has happened in the past week.
Speaking of the past week – I have NO idea where the time has gone. If I put myself back to this time last week we were an absolute mess of emotions and nerves getting ready for surgery. Tom is feeling a bit frustrated that he isn’t getting better “fast” enough, but I told him the fact that we are home and that he is on the mend a week after surgery is a complete victory to me. It feels like there is more progress being made when there are these tangible targets in the hospital like leaving ICU or removing tubes, but I really have been amazed at his recovery so far.
Despite his awesome recovery, Tom is feeling pretty icky and still on a heavy medicine regimen, but it’s getting us headed in the right direction where his pain is manageable and he can feel better. I can’t wait for this all to be a distant memory. More to come tomorrow…
Anyway, the goal of today was to get these bandages off (cue my nurse glove snaps) so he would have a little more freedom in movement and could get cleaned up. I knew better than to have Tom looking in a mirror as I was doing this, so instead I turned him away from the mirror and started to remove the bandages. As I was pulling them off I realized it didn’t matter if we had a mirror or not because Tom had looked down and boom – the reality of this war zone on his chest hit him. I came pretty darn close to calling an ambulance as I got him seated, put a wash cloth on his head, held his head up and made him converse with me to ensure he was staying with me. I think it was a bit much for him to see it all, see blood soaked bandages and reconcile that it was all from the surgery. I'll be honest - it was tough for me to even see and it's not on my body. Needless to say, we took a break after that first bandage removal and will take care of the rest tomorrow.
In a strange way, Tom doesn’t feel like it’s his body he is looking at. He was completely out during surgery and then woke up with this mess of incisions all over him. It’s not like when you break a bone when you are completely aware and can associate the pain with a moment in time. He really can’t, it’s a strange disconnect his brain is having with his body – and I think that was a big part of today. It really put into perspective everything that has happened in the past week.
Speaking of the past week – I have NO idea where the time has gone. If I put myself back to this time last week we were an absolute mess of emotions and nerves getting ready for surgery. Tom is feeling a bit frustrated that he isn’t getting better “fast” enough, but I told him the fact that we are home and that he is on the mend a week after surgery is a complete victory to me. It feels like there is more progress being made when there are these tangible targets in the hospital like leaving ICU or removing tubes, but I really have been amazed at his recovery so far.
Despite his awesome recovery, Tom is feeling pretty icky and still on a heavy medicine regimen, but it’s getting us headed in the right direction where his pain is manageable and he can feel better. I can’t wait for this all to be a distant memory. More to come tomorrow…