While writing this blog I always tried to be fair to our situation while trying to maintain a positive perspective. Perhaps some days I wasn’t as fair to it as I should have been as some people have said we made it look easy. Trust me, it wasn’t easy – but there were reasons that some things went unsaid. There were moments of this whole cancer fight that I just didn’t want out in the world – I didn’t want anyone to have to go where we had to go to – it was a tough place to be and where we could prevent additional worry, we did.
Tom’s diagnosis and subsequent care taking role for me was like adding another full time job to my plate. A job I truly feel lucky to have had. There were days where the blog felt like the “homework”, the proof that we were making progress and doing what we were supposed to be doing. There were nights I was simply exhausted and didn't think I had it in me to write, but we wanted people to know what was happening so they could keep praying for us. In a weird way it became our acknowledgement – our way of saying we know you are all there rooting for us. I know some days the writing wasn’t eloquent and most days it lacked perfect grammar or punctuation but hopefully you recognize that it was just raw – it was what we were feeling and experiencing.
Obviously this isn’t all over yet, but the bulk of the “fight” has passed. We’ve got a ways to go in regards to getting back to our lives, not being nervous of scan results or going down the “what if…” spiral, but we will deal with that like we’ve dealt with everything else – one day at a time and with a positive attitude.
So what’s next? I was talking with someone recently about the pressure to do something earth shattering now that we’ve beaten cancer. Certainly we will live life differently moving forward, and I know we will make decisions differently as a result of this, maybe that will be in the next few weeks, maybe that will be years from now. The possibilities are endless. Are we going to quit our jobs and go live on a beach with Aruba? Nah – not yet anyway ;-)
Speaking of jobs, Tom will be headed back to work in just two short weeks. He will be back in the office the first week of March and will obviously be careful as he eases back into work. He is still on lifting restrictions, but for the most part we can see “normal” getting closer and closer! Tom is feeling great, he has defied the odds once again and for people that aren’t aware that he just had such massive surgery you really wouldn’t know. He is eager to get his restrictions lifted and get back to the golf course!
We both agree that the one thing that is a non-negotiable is that we want to pay it forward. If we can do anything for the next cancer victim to make it easier on them, we certainly want to help. That is currently manifesting itself in many different ways, and again, time will tell how this all plays out. For me, one thing I’m in the process of doing is pulling this all into a book. As I mentioned above I didn’t blog everything, but I wrote along the way in addition to the blog. My goal is to pull it all together and tell a story that can help people, make people laugh, and perhaps teach some life lessons that Tom & I had to learn all too soon.
So for a little fun – some fun facts about the blog:
- 1 – Number of times Tom vetoed a post (For the record, I was REALLY mad at cancer that day and took it out on my blinking cursor and a blank page)
- 91 – Number of Posts
- 160+ - Current Number of Pages of the book I’ve been working on.
- 19,000+ Visits to the site
- January 19 & January 20 – Highest traffic days of the site (Tom’s surgery and day after)
- 200+ Comments on blog posts
- Embarrassing # of hospital selfies
So to close, we want to say thank you. A few people have referred to this blog a chapter of an amazing love story - and I loved that reference because as terrible as this all has been it's been so surrounded by love. Our love, the love of our friends and family, and most importantly the power of all the love, energy and prayers. We are so very proud of everything we accomplished in the past six months, and we certainly tried to do it with as much grace and gratitude as possible. We will continue to keep everyone in the loop, but if you are worried about missing out on all my profound wisdom, sarcasm or jokes, give me a call...or stay tuned for the book that will hopefully be hitting shelves soon :)
If you remember back to our first post with our "We Hate Cancer Selfie" - we've come a long way and included our "We Beat Cancer" picture tonight to bring it full circle. We love you all SO much, and from the bottom of our hearts, thank you, thank you, thank you.......